I know you probably recieved the post I sent out with these in, but I just had to make sure that y'all got to see them.
Every year the Darwin awards re-news my faith for humanity....in a we-will-control-our-unchecked-population growth-as-a-species-through-sheer-stupidity-sort-of-way.
Brightest blessings
Mark
The Darwin Awards for 2008 have been announced. Here are the winers among
those helping to improve the gene pool.
Eighth Place
Detroit
: a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after
squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve is
car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San
Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned-out when he ran,'
accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an
8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach
chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of
sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to ge t him
out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment
almost an hour to free him.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as
he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep
his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as
he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol
car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather &
Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and
a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon se eing the
officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild
shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned
fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber
was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics Crime scene investigators
located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy
revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different
weapons. No on e else was hurt.
HONOUABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving
around at 2 a.m. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the
window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been
drinking with several friends when one of them said that they knew a person who
had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traf fic. The
conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.
They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge.
His fall lasted 40 feet before the c able tightened and tore his foot off at the
ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by
two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located!
AND THE
WINNER IS...
Zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn ,
Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative
and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46,
was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head
on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top
of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that 'Shit
happens!'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR
REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!